February 12, 2013

My husband has been SRPing (getting deployment ready) all day, and he was constantly texting me asking me for info, bank information, car details, etc. I was fine until I sat down for lunch... then it hit me and I couldn't stop crying. I am not normally a major emotional person, and this pregnancy is driving me crazy, I will cry over the stupidest things!  It's just getting more real. More real that he will be gone for a year... I think the thing that scares me the most is it's not two kids this time, it's two kids and a newborn. It's not going to be as easy to throw the kids in their bathing suits and head to the pool all summer, I'm going to have a baby... maybe it will still be easy? Abi is going to have to become a little more independent or I will be crazy at the end of the year.

On a more positive side, I have an entire year to lose weight :) Losing weight will be easier with Weston gone... well, once I get past the emotional eating :) I won't have to prepare and cook full meals every night, and I can watch my eating a lot easier. The stroller/car seat combo I got is a jogging stroller, so I plan on walking a lot, and when baby and I can attempt to start running again.

It's going to be SO different this time. Last time I was surrounded by family, we had fun, time flew! We are too far away from family, and making that long of a trip with a newborn by myself stresses me out just thinking about it. The positive to being here is that I do have some good friends, and I'm surrounded by people that know what you are going through, sometimes that in itself is amazing support. But everyone but one person is moving away...

BLAH... my mind is in a negative place today. I have to keep reminding myself that God is in control. He knows what's happening and He wouldn't give me anything that I couldn't handle. And although it may be hard at times I will rock this deployment. I will be strong for my kids and we will have as much fun as possible.


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