My husband has been SRPing (getting deployment ready) all day, and he was constantly texting me asking me for info, bank information, car details, etc. I was fine until I sat down for lunch... then it hit me and I couldn't stop crying. I am not normally a major emotional person, and this pregnancy is driving me crazy, I will cry over the stupidest things!  It's just getting more real. More real that he will be gone for a year... I think the thing that scares me the most is it's not two kids this time, it's two kids and a newborn. It's not going to be as easy to throw the kids in their bathing suits and head to the pool all summer, I'm going to have a baby... maybe it will still be easy? Abi is going to have to become a little more independent or I will be crazy at the end of the year.

On a more positive side, I have an entire year to lose weight :) Losing weight will be easier with Weston gone... well, once I get past the emotional eating :) I won't have to prepare and cook full meals every night, and I can watch my eating a lot easier. The stroller/car seat combo I got is a jogging stroller, so I plan on walking a lot, and when baby and I can attempt to start running again.

It's going to be SO different this time. Last time I was surrounded by family, we had fun, time flew! We are too far away from family, and making that long of a trip with a newborn by myself stresses me out just thinking about it. The positive to being here is that I do have some good friends, and I'm surrounded by people that know what you are going through, sometimes that in itself is amazing support. But everyone but one person is moving away...

BLAH... my mind is in a negative place today. I have to keep reminding myself that God is in control. He knows what's happening and He wouldn't give me anything that I couldn't handle. And although it may be hard at times I will rock this deployment. I will be strong for my kids and we will have as much fun as possible.

Ashley

FRG Meeting

For those of you who do not know, FRG is the unit's Family Readiness Group... the sole purpose of this group is support during a deployment. During a deployment you eagerly await the FRG meeting to get information, to communicate with the other wives that are going through the same thing as you... make friends, join in activities... I was very disappointed at last nights meeting. There was no FRG... this unit has done nothing but frustrate me here in the past few months. Weston has received nothing but a major runaround about everything, promised one thing, told another, only to turn around and be told something totally different by someone else. All I have seen and heard is how majorly disorganized this unit is... The purpose of last night's meeting was to meet the First Sgt. and other chain of command and get information preparing for deployment, but what it ended up really being about, is they needed volunteers to step up and take FRG positions, it took FOREVER... no one wanted to do it... if I wasn't about to have a baby I would have stood up and volunteered myself, it was roasting in that small room crammed full of people and I was literally melting... Finally someone else got tired of being there and we got all the positions filled. Hopefully the FRG leader steps up to the plate and actually does a good job.
My overly emotional prego self (it's been REALLY bad this go around) got emotional one time and I had to fight back tears. The 1st Sgt. separated us at one time, spouses on one side of the room, soldiers on the other, and he told us spouses to take a good look at each other, because that would be our support system for the next year. He went on about a lot of other things, most of which I had tuned out because I am not one to be emotional in front of anyone, especially complete strangers... However I highly doubt any of those ladies would be a support system for myself... you can pretty much look at someone and know if you will click with them or not, there was maybe one, possibly two other spouses in that room that I could see myself actually being friends with, the rest of them... well, we will just leave it at that. Thank goodness I have amazing neighbors that I can count on!

Weston still has a few things to wrap up for me before he leaves, but has a week off coming up that he can do them... He ordered our two car tires we need, and he will be replacing them, he has to update the car so that I can still continue to go on post when he is gone (that is kind of important) and I need him to take me to have my Military I.D. renewed (it's fixin' to expire). He also is determined to buy me a pistol, which I'm excited about... I love to shoot, and the thought of having my very own gun is exciting!! During his block leave he will take me to the shooting range where I will get to practice shooting it and familiarize myself with it (plus he has to register it on post). Point of that tid bit of info... don't break into my house, I am an expert shot, I will not miss and I will shoot to kill (I have babies to protect).

:) Hope everyone has a GREAT weekend!

Ashley

34 weeks pregnant today!!! Until my doctor gets the results from the specialists I am still sticking with my March 20th due date... although I have a strong feeling I will have her before that! Otherwise, I'm looking at a BIG baby. She is still breech, showing no interest in turning so far. My husband FINALLY had a weekend off and was able to set up the crib, fix Abi's bunk bed, drag the baby clothes out of storage for me (alot of heavy lifting involved there) and a few other manly things that I can't do... only one more thing for him to do that I have no idea how to do, and that is to fix the shower curtain rod. Ama decided it would be fun to hang and swing from the rod and broke the metal part that attaches the rod to the wall... he has to find the right piece and fix it. This is all stuff I need done by March. Why you ask? Because my husband is deploying and I am in full on nesting mode. I need things fixed that I can't fix, and I need help preparing for this baby. He's going to miss the entire first year of this baby's life, and I want him included with as much of the preparation as possible. Okay, wait, not the entire first year... IF he is here for the birth he will get to meet her before hopping on a plane, and then he gets 2 weeks to come home at some point in that year. It will be a very different experience giving birth to our child without him here, it makes me sad to think about it, for him and for me. But, that's the military way of life... Hopefully she decides to come at a time that Weston can still be here to witness her grand entry into this world, and then, if you are friends with me on FB I will probably drive you crazy over the next year posting tons of pictures and videos so that Weston can still feel somewhat a part of our lives as he will have plenty of video and pictures to look at :) In fact... I just got an amazing idea in my head!! :) Off to do some researching and possibly some online shopping...

Ashley